A gamer's wife

October 27, 2015
You read it right. I am a gamer's wife. Not the bad boy or playboy type though, my husband is a video-game-addict!

A number of girls complain about their partners being addictive to online/video games. But how is it to be a gamer's wife? Yung totoo? Tough.

Since we were bf/gf, he is already a computer game fanatic. Cabal, rakion, pointblank and the famous COC (clash of clans) are just some of the games he's playing. I don't know what sense of fulfillment they're feeling, but I once tried playing COC, pero hindi talaga e. I can't spend hours sitting in front of the computer or cell phone para lang bantayan ang base or umattack sa war.
But somehow, that gesture makes my man happy and contented.

Nakakainis na minsan, kasi parang mas priority pa nya ang paglalaro kesa sa amin. I sometimes felt jealous of those games. Ika nga, "dota o ako?". It is true though, minsan ang sarap na nila papiliin. Pero, napakababaw na dahilan, diba?

Think of it : Mag-asawa, naghiwalay dahil sa COC!

I'm sure it's familiar. Madami nang news about couples arguing or even separated because of those vices. I don't want us to end like them. So as much as possible, tiisin na lang. 

Wait. Tiis? Guess it isn't the right word. It's part of him, and after I agreed to tie the knot with him, (let's face it) I accepted it, as a package, as a whole. Mahirap mag-adjust, cos it's no longer a bf/gf relationship. We are now married, living on the same roof. Partners. Mas madaming responsibilities.

We share differences and flaws, but we are one. One in heart, one in mind and one for life.
I am still thankful that a gamer like him, kahit na parang di marunong maghandle ng time at madalas nangdededma dahil ang hirap istorbohin pag 'on-game', could be a good father and still a thoughtful and supportive husband.

Napakadami ng pag-aaway, sagutan at sisihan ang nangyari sa amin because of his games. In 5 years, his online games and computer are part of what we are trying to fix. As a married couple, I know that this won't work if only one is fighting. Aaminin ko, as a wife, napakarami ko ring pagkukulang sa kanya. Pero mas nakikita ko  yung pagkukulang nya kasi I'm feeling tired. 

Recently, as I am trying to have a minute with the Lord, He revealed to me that wives should respect her husband. Sounds easy, right? Truth is, di sya madaling gawin, lalo na if you're a demanding wife like me. Respecting him means patience, understanding and humility. Na napakahirap pangatawanan. Let's face it, we women tend to explode agad-agad. Kahit sa maliit na bagay, we tend to nag and blame others. Napakahirap maging humble lalo na pag pagod ka. Napakahirap umintindi kung yung ineexpect mong attitude ng asawa mo e wala sa kanya. But, bakit nga ba tayo mag-eexpect...? let's stop there. 

Marriages are often broken and damaged because of too much expectations. Sabi nila dapat may open-communication. Sadly, a gamer has no sense to communicate when he's 'on-game' which makes me struggle. Ang hirap nun gusto mo makipag-bonding, makipag-usap pero busy sya. Sabi nya lagi, "Wait lang". 

Technology is really killing relationships, slowly and di tayo aware na natatalo na tayo. I am praying na bumalik yung dati - the simple life we had. Yung manonood kami ng TV together, food tripping, tawanan, kulitan, kwentuhang walang hanggan... I know that it's hard to go back, especially that we have kid (soon kids na). 

On the other hand, I would be very honest to myself. Alam ko na minsan sobra ako makapagsalita sa kanya at nawawala na ang respect. I have a picture of an ideal family for us, pero... mahirap ma-achieve. Me as a gamer's wife? I am nothing to what he expects me to be... I am impatient. Lagi ko sinasabi na tanggap ko naman yung kaadikan nya sa computer, but the truth is-- hindi pa totally.
Naiinis ako na feeling ko dinidedma nya ako... 

From all these, I failed to see small things that could've prevented my insecurities. He is a good father, mas close pa nga c Lance sa kanya at mas hinahanap-hanap sya ng bata. He never gets mad at me whenever I am spending a lot of hours just reading or blogging or doing nothing. Di sya nagdedemand. He's soft-spoken, too. Nasisigawan nya ako pag punong-puno na sya saken. He has accepted me during my bad moods and he's with me celebrating in times of happiness. Oo, my husband is childish. At his age (he's only 22), someone told me na matagal daw talaga magmature ang mga lalake. So I'm praying that despite all these inadequacies, we'll find our way in love - again.

Games, cellphones, technology and all material things are replaceable, but the times spent arguing, times we chose to get mad and the love -- are irreplaceable.

Alam ko na acceptance and tolerating are different and I've drawn a line in between. I have faith that he will soon realize the things he need to prioritize and since no one can change a man's heart (but God), I will surrender it all to Him. :)

To be a gamer's wife is fun and securing. Mas okay ng sa computer sya busy at naaadik kesa sa ibang girls, diba? :p


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